Illusions

Illusions

What do you do
when the things you can talk about
become less and less?

When we pretend
that what we can't talk about
 isn't really happening,
or doesn't really matter,
or it isn't really real.

What do you do
when the superficial trumps the significant,
when the mundane crowds out the relevant,
or the easy replaces the meaningful?

When it is easier to talk about others
than to others.

When getting through the moments
replaces savoring the moments.

What do you do
when you start to become invisible
or irrelevant
or optional?

When they are moving on without you
and you begin to wonder
 if you ever really mattered much at all.

What do you do,
besides what you already know
when what you know no longer works
the way it used to?

To be invisible
or irrevelant
or optional
is not a state that I have known,
or so I thought.

I find myself wondering
 if who I thought I was
and who I mattered to
was more of an illusion
that I ever could have imagined.

 Do we slowly cease
to matter,
to be heard, to be seen?

Do we slowly become invisible
irrelevant and
optional?

Was it just an illusion
all along?