The Upside of Aging

I'm for aging. I am not for anti-aging.

And I'm for aging as gracefully as I can as you can probably tell by the new title and focus of my blog.

"So what?"  you might be thinking.  "What's the big deal about being for aging when it's going to happen whether you want it to or not?"

The opportunity to grow old is a relatively new thing for most of us humans when you look at life expectancy from a broad historical perspective.  For most of our human existence, we didn't live all that long. We've added 30 years of life expectancy between 1900 and 1999 alone. And the number of years is going up as we speak.

In other words, if I had been born 100 years ago it wouldn't have mattered if I was for aging because the odds were it wasn't going to happen.

Yet, this recent addition to our life spans has not been a walk in the park.  The desire to stay young, look young and act young that is pervasive in our culture seems to have trumped any benefits that come with aging. In fact, "older" has more often been viewed as an ending rather than a beginning. As a time for reduced growth rather than new learning. As a time to wind down rather than ramp up.

I bet anyone reading this can come up with a list of negative words or pejoratives about older people.

Geezer, old fart, coot, and biddy come to mind. Spry, perky, chipper, feisty, sweet, little and grandmotherly (which especially a problem if you are male like me) are attempts to be cute which really aren't cute. Older people are often perceived as unable to learn, set in their ways, and resistant to change.

In doing some research on this topic, I discovered that even the term "elderly",  which was preferred to "old" back in the early part of the 20th century, is now commonly viewed as politically incorrect. I know some people who prefer "older" to "old".   I suspect this debate will rage for a while as a whole bunch of us boomers age together. Needless to say, negative words outnumber positive words when it comes to aging, so it seems to me.

Then there are the "still" comments--- "still driving, still jogging, still working, still whatever...."

Didn't you all know that 90 is the new 50?

I'm not ready to declare myself as the word police for people over 60 or to develop a hyper-sensitivity to every comment that might marginalize an older person's dignity.

But I am excited about the notion of focusing on the benefits that come with living a longer life, in an attempt to age gracefully.

It may be just a coincidence, but no sooner did I refocus my blog when I started seeing articles and stories about the upside of aging. They just appeared. Coincidence or reticular activator phenomenon, I've begun to gather stories, articles, research and any other information I can find that focuses on the upside of aging. Some of it is new, some is old, some is conventional wisdom, some defies conventional wisdom. All of it is fuel for my mission to become an advocate for the upside of aging.

Here is a what I've gleaned so far:

Lives that live to 100 or 90 have to be paced differently than lives that live to 50.  Pacing sounds a lot better than fading or giving up.

There are some very powerful gains that come with aging-- We become more emotionally stable....less drama and fewer meltdowns, I suspect. We gain more knowledge and our expertise deepens. So the old stereotype of a feeble, forgetful mind is not only unfair, it is incomplete.

For example, younger people may learn faster but older people know more. In other words, it may take me a little longer to find the right word but I know more of them.

The aging brain also has strengths of its own--research has shown that older people allow more extraneous information to enter into problem solving than younger people. How about that for different kind of creative brain? Substance over speed--I'll take that at this stage of life.

And just for the record, this isn't a competition about what's better- young or old. Both have value, both are needed.

Then I came across an article that reported that older people often draw as much happiness from ordinary experiences — like a day at the zoo, or a picnic at a park, as they do from extraordinary ones. It seems that as we age, with many of the self-defining tasks behind us, our ability to find meaning in the more ordinary aspects of life increases. It probably doesn't hurt that we may appreciate the ordinary more when we are aware of the decreasing number of years we have to enjoy them.

This gives me hope for the future. As long as we can cover our basic living expenses, then doing inexpensive, everyday things can lead to good older life as readily as someone who has the magic retirement income suggested by the financial planning industry.

So when you add it all up, aging comes with emotional balance, improved perspective and better mental health-a combination of characteristics that to many, compromises the very definition of wisdom.

And speaking of wisdom, I 'm attempting to acquire some as I transition towards retirement in the next several years.

Rather than viewing retirement  as an ending, I'm going to viewing it as a beginning. A beginning of a transition where I clear the ground for the next stage of growth in my life. Like the speeches given at commencement ceremonies to graduates every spring.

Here's the question that I've been asking myself lately:

"What is it, at this point in my life, that is waiting quietly backstage for an entrance cue? What new growth is ready to germinate in this season of my life?"