Is 45 Years Too Late?

In September of 2011, I attended the 40th reunion for Roosevelt High School class of 1971 in Des Moines, Iowa. At the previous class reunions I attended in '81 and '91, I gravitated to the classmates that I attended junior high school with at Callanan Jr. High for grades 7-9. Maybe it was because Roosevelt was a such large high school with over 1500 students while Callanan was much smaller with less than 500 students. Maybe it was the times we were living in-the civil rights movement, the  psychedelic scene, long hair, peace protests and mini-skirts.The mid-1960's was a time when we were still somewhat naive, but on the edge of turbulent and explosive social change. Or maybe it was the teachers and leaders of that stately brick building just 20 blocks west of downtown Des Moines, with the WPA murals in the stairwells and a student body made up of a wide swatch of economic and racial backgrounds. It was all those things for me and then some and when I look back, I remember it as a marvelous and exciting time to be a teenager.  



Betty Hyde in her classroom, mid 1960's

At our 40th class reunion, the conversations were heartfelt and humorous, grateful and genuine. It seemed to me that those of us who attended knew how lucky we had were. We had survived the 60's and 70's intact. We had lived most our lives, achieved most of our successes, had experienced the highs and lows of love, careers, and health and were still standing. Time flew by and when the hour to part was upon us, we all said we needed to get together again, this time with just the Callanan group. With the advent of Facebook and e-mail, it was now possible to stay connected and plan an event in ways that we couldn't have dreamed possible back in 1967.



In March of 2012, a group of 12 of us met and held our mini-Callanan Jr. High Reunion, Class of 1967. On a Saturday afternoon in Des Moines we spent several hours together sharing stories and memories, past and present. As we reminisced about the teachers we had at Callanan, one name kept coming up-Betty Jean Hyde, our 8th grade English teacher.  Is she still alive? Does anyone know anything about her? Susan, one of our classmates,  said she had a connection. A friend of hers knew Mrs. Hyde from the hospital where she volunteered. Would she to meet with us? Would she remember us? The clock was ticking and we knew it, after all it had been 45 years and we weren't getting any younger, nor was Mrs. Hyde (who was 82 we later discovered). We parted that day with a commitment to locate and meet with Mrs.Hyde, if she was willing and able.

As spring grew to summer, the plans began to come together. Mrs. Hyde was located and was in good health. She was interested, albeit a bit surprised that this group of students from the late 60's was looking for her. Mrs. Hyde retired in 1997 after working for over 42 years as an educator and administrator and was living in west Des Moines. Facebook messages went back and forth, dates and locations were discussed and finally we had a concrete plan. On Saturday, September 23, at 2:00pm, at Mimi's Restaurant in West Des Moines, we would pay tribute to Betty Hyde.

Betty Hyde, 82 years young.

There were many thoughts running through my head that day as I drove across Iowa on I-80 towards West Des Moines.  Would she remember us? Would she still be as we remembered her? Memory can play tricks on you, I've found. Did I edit out the parts I didn't like, only recalling those that fit my current version? The one thing I was very clear on was my intention to thank the teacher after 45 years, hoping that 45 years wasn't too late.


There were several classmates at the restaurant when I arrived and we waited in a private room that was set for the occasion while others arrived. I put together a collage of pictures and other memorabilia  and had it framed as a keepsake for her. Among the photographs was a copy of the report card where she had she had stated that she had "moved my seat because of wisecracks and side comments and that I had a good mind, but was going through a silly period".

The Callanan group with Mrs. Hyde

You might imagine that if the rest of the day had turned out to be a disappointment I just might not be telling this story. So let me  cut to the chase-the rest of the day greatly exceeded any expectations I could have had. It was a wonderful, wonderful afternoon. Did I say it was wonderful?  Mrs. Hyde, upon arriving, had us in the palm of her hand just as she did those 45 years ago. She was charming, sharp, funny, poised, gracious (see the video below). One by one, she spent time asking about each of us, remembering things about each of us such as where we sat in her class, or we how walked, or how we participated. Two of our classmates called in from long distance and passed on their gratitude. And when the time came to present her with the framed collage keepsake , I took my opportunity to tell her about the report card she had written 45 years ago. How I rediscovered it a key juncture in my life and how it encouraged me. About how I used it make people laugh. That it reminded me a time in my life when I was growing the most it seemed. That it represented all the contributions of all the great teachers I was so fortunate to have as a teenager growing up in a turbulent world..

Betty Hyde, 45 years after moving my seat.

Time went by so quickly and soon it was nearing 5 o'clock and it was time to head for home. We said our goodbyes, took a few more pictures, and Mrs. Hyde left with every one's home addresses as she proclaimed, "I still do snail mail."  I later heard from all my classmates who attended and they all received a letter from Mrs. Hyde, typed on a typewriter, I suspect, and sent via snail mail. Mine is posted here for you to read to help you catch a glimpse of who she is and get a sense of why we all admired her so much.

                                                             

Is 45 years too late to thank a teacher for making a difference in your life? Not in this case, although we got lucky. I got lucky. Don't wait as long a I did. You won't regret it.